01/25/10

TO: barack.obama@whitehouse.gov

FROM: Ellie.Light@hotpants.net

SUBJ: Michelle?

Barry honey,

Since all of these damn conservative blogs are carrying on about the "big scandal" of my letters to the editors all over the US praising you and claiming to live in their local area, I'm a little worried that Michelle is going to figure out who I am and why I'm doing favors like this for you. I'm going to skip town for a couple of months and hang out back at the pad in Chicago. Be a dear and wire $50K to my account for grocery money, okay? I'll be in touch Mister Awesome.

Ellie