Most of what you hear about Barack Obama these days isn't flattering: he's too far to the left (or not far enough); he's leading the country in the wrong direction (or doesn't know how to lead at all). Even his supporters are getting weary of arguing his cause. But Vice President Joe Biden remains a loyal wingman, talking up the president even to people who won't be eligible to vote for another decade or so. During a recent visit to an after-school program in Redwood City, California, Biden repeatedly described Obama as "really cool" to a group of third-graders.

Unfortunately for Biden, this group of third-graders earned the privilege of meeting the vice president by being honor students, and they quickly began asking mister Biden challenging questions that baffled him. Eventually, he realized that he was being played for a fool by a bunch of third-graders and he became angry and abusive. Resorting to standard democratic debating tactics, he launched personality attacks on the children, flung monkey poo and began to wade into the crowd to get physical.

Alert Secret Service agents hustled the vice president out of the class room to a waiting limousine before the third-graders had a chance to inflict any physical damage on him.

Future class room visits will be handled by professional public relations specialists, and the vice president will be kept on a short leash assigned to other duties.

Loyal Sidekick of Really Cool Man