Informed sources in Washington are lending a degree of credibility to the increasingly frequent rumors of a move to outsource the House of Representatives and the Senate to Mumbai or Bangalore, or possibly Bangladesh.

One source, who declined to be identified, said "Quite simply, this is the 21st century. We have instant worldwide communications. Every large American business has outsourced key business functions to South Asia; it allows them to operate effectively 24/7 and achieve cost efficiencies that would be impossible at home. There is a large pool of highly educated, young talent available in South Asia, while the U.S. offers only young people who have been raised in socialist-dominated schools to replace the incumbent congress of doddering old fools."

Another source, in answer to a question, responded "No problem about them not being citizens. We've been doing okay with a Kenyan president, we'll do okay with an Indian or Bangladeshi congress. They're quick learners. If Dell can make them instant experts on Dell computers, we can run them through a few courses and make them instant experts on American history, culture, law, and, you know, all that stuff. They couldn't be any worse than the buffoons that we have now and they work for peanuts."

Members of the outgoing congress will receive a generous separation package consisting of two weeks pay for each year served, COBRA benefits for 12 months, a gold lapel pin and a certificate suitable for framing.