date: Thu, Aug 6, 2009 at 9:31 AM
subject: More Fishy Information
mailed-by: gmail.com
Hey big 0, yesterday I informed you about my subversive website
www.anddomestic.com but I forgot to inform you that I also have a subversive
blog at http://suspected-rightist.blogspot.com/ - that one is really fishy. I
post all kinds of opinions and quotes about you and your administration. "Ye
shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." It says that in the
Bible and the CIA liked it so much that they adopted it as a motto. - I'm sorry,
you don't like the Bible or the CIA very much, do you?
I'm glad you started this mailing address for reporting subversive activity
directly to the white house. I used to write to "contact us" at whitehouse.gov
and never got any answers. I figure some underpaid intern was deleting my mail
as fast as I could send it. Now that you have a direct line for informers to
squeal on their parents, friends, neighbors, like Hitler and Stalin used, I
figure somebody with some "juice" is going to be reading my mail.
I used to be apolitical like most military people. I was part of the great
"Silent Majority". But one of my recessive genes must have contained a little
particle of subversive rebelliousness, and you, good sir, have awakened that,
and I thank you. I now have a new burning passion in life, the downfall of you,
your administration and all that you represent. (Secret Service go change your
underwear. No violence expressed or implied. This is not a threat. Your mileage
may vary.)
Last night I had a great idea: since you hate America so much, how about you
resign from office and move back to Kenya, or better yet, Somalia. There you
could run for head warlord. Although it's not so much running for the office as
it is eliminating the competition, like in Chicago. Once in power, you could
appoint Nancy Pelosi as Chief Witch Doctor (is she a doctor?) Joe Biden and
Harry Reid should be useful for something, maybe for religious ceremonies to
keep the volcanoes happy. If you promise to take your entire administration with
you, including all the czars and the congress, we promise to never interfere in
the affairs of Somalia, ever. If you pledge that your pirates will never attack
American flagged ships, we will do everything in our power to relocate the
United Nations Headquarters to Mogadishu, to bring honor and prestige to your
capitol.
Now, just in case you're unwilling to take that generous offer, there's
something else you ought to consider, particularly since you call yourself a
"history scholar". You are, no doubt, aware that poor Irish and English people
were rounded up by the thousands and shipped in horrifying conditions to the
American colonies for a life of slavery in the 16th century before the first
African was ever imported here? Were you also aware that these white slave far
outnumbered the number of black slaves at all times? Mr. 0, I am not American, I
am a proud Anglo-Celtic-American, descended from slaves, I have a big chip on my
shoulder and I want reparations.
Enemy of the State