Giant iceberg heading for Australia

A giant iceberg  is on a slow but steady collision course with Australia, scientists have said.


By Bonnie Malkin in Sydney
Published: 11:34AM GMT 09 Dec 2009
 

Photo: AFP/GETTY IMAGES
 

The mammoth chunk of ice, which measures 1200 miles long and 500 miles wide, was spotted floating surprisingly close to the mainland by scientists at the Australian Antarctic Division (ADD).

Known as B17B, it is currently drifting 1,000 miles from Australia's west coast and is moving gradually north with the ocean current and prevailing wind.

Dr Neal Young, a glaciologist working for the ADD, said that if the iceberg eventually reached Australia waters, it would crash into the continental shelf pushing Australia Northward. In the worst case, Australia could ram into New Guinea and either shove that land mass ahead of it or nudge it aside as Australia continues North to collide with Japan and push it into the Korean peninsula.

When the chain collision ceases, geologists expect that North Korea will no longer exist, having become a jagged mountain range separating South Korea from China.

In Copenhagen, Al Gore said that the giant iceberg was caused by the Bush Administration's insensitivity to global warming problems and that it would not have happened if the election had not been stolen from him in 2000. Gore urged the Obama administration to raise a new tax on the American people to reimburse the people of Australia, New Guinea, Japan, South Korea, North Korea and China for the damage done to their countries.

Attention: Liberals, this page is satire. Like global warming it is pseudo-science. It is 100 percent bullshit. It is not happening and can never happen. It is a figment of my imagination, based on an Australian news item about a small iceberg. Go change your underwear and carry on with whatever important activity you were performing. Report me to flag@whitehouse.gov again if you wish for being racist and anti-environment and being nasty to mother Gaia.