'Nuke the Buzzards, Or Apply Wuss Diplomacy?'
By John Lillpop on (Apr 10, 09)
Satire by Lillpop
President Barack Obama is facing a severe test in the early days of his
presidency. Just as Joe Biden predicted, the president is being tested by Iran,
North Korea, and now four renegade pirates from Somalia. Obama’s dilema: Nuke a
small group of corrupt pirates holding hostage an American captain, or use
diplomacy and talk to send a message of hope and reconciliation to the Jihad
terrorists?
Will it be military might or wuss diplomacy, Mr. President?
As a dedicated patriot who wants this president to succeed, in spite of his
sorry self, I recommend a “Help Wanted” ad to find a suitable diplomat.
Suggested wording:
"Sophisticated, bilingual, multicultural, world citizen diplomat sought for high
level position in the White House.
“Successful applicant will be skilled in groveling, apologizing for American
arrogance, and unilateral surrender strategy. Must be sympathetic to the needs
and hurts of Islamofascists and be willing to Blame America First, regardless of
the actual facts.
“Requires frequent travel and interaction with people coming from diverse
religious and cultural backgrounds.
Clean tax history a must; being gay a huge plus! Republicans and conservative
Democrats need not apply.
Equal opportunity employer, except for Republicans and conservative Democrats."
President Obama is said to have considered adding the pirate crisis to the work
load of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, but would prefer a person of color
with an unsullied reputation for truth and integrity and at least a smidgen of
common sense.
In addition to submitting an appropriate Help Wanted ad to Obama, I have also
reminded the president of the considerable experience and skills of Keira
Knightley who starred in “The Pirates of Caribbean” flicks with Johnny Depp.
Her only drawbacks? She is lily white, Christian, and a kick-ass tyrant when it
comes to scalawag pirates!
John W. Lillpop is a Capitol Hill Coffee House staff writer.