When Federal Judge Virginia Phillips, an anti-military, Clinton-appointee issued her decision against the military's long-standing "Don't Ask - Don't Tell" policy against gays openly serving in the military, many conservative bloggers became irate.

They pointed out that the rights of the vast majority of the troops, the straight men and women, were being violated to accommodate the few deviants in the ranks. One prominent blogger even wrote that our society had become so debauched that "if God does not destroy America, then he owes an apology to Sodom and Gomorrah."

I will admit that I was sort of upset about it myself for a while, but then I did some thinking. I have several advantages here: I'm long retired, so I can be objective, I'll never be sharing a foxhole with a faggot. I've had a number of employer-sponsored courses in "thinking outside the box". I'm a cold-blooded bastard.

American military officers have always been limited in what they could do with their troops. I believe most officers develop a parental type relationship with their subordinates and are concerned with their welfare and survival in combat. In any given situation, a good leader will not ask one of his men to do something that he would not do himself. An Army or Marine Corps infantry platoon or company is like a family of brothers with a big brother (first sergeant) and a father (commander). Everyone may not get along, but when the stuff hits the fan, they all watch out for each other. If you try to hurt one of those brothers, you're dog-meat.

Enter the queer. Nobody wants to be his buddy, there's nothing to snap his shelter-half to. He eats alone, he sleeps alone, he sits watch with the guy the First Shirt is mad at today. He can't shoot worth a damn, because no one wanted to get close to show him how.

But then his unit deploys downrange to AfghaPakiFukistan and he gets his chance to Be All He Can Be, to Be A Man, he becomes an Army of One.  

Cross-dressing as a Taliban female, he infiltrates a Taliban leaders meeting in the local provincial headquarters and detonates his suicide vest which is packed with C4, ball bearings, rusty nails and unpopped popcorn from the bottom of the bag. Those who survive the initial blast and shrapnel are infected by his HIV/AIDS tainted blood.

Private Pervert is posthumously promoted to Private First Class. His life partner travels to the White House to be presented his Silver Star medal from a grateful nation. The San Francisco Haight-Ashbury VFW chapter is renamed in his honor.

In a secluded room at the Pentagon, a U.S. Army Major General briefs a team of 12 colonels (and Navy captains) from all services on their assigned task: to develop training and doctrine guidance for the development and employment of the new MOS, "Combat Queer". The Air Force does not use the Military Occupation Specialty system, but classifies skills as Air Force Specialty Codes and will refer to the new skill as "Flying Fairies" 

Eventually, we win the war in AghaPakiIranKyrSyrAlFukistan, and faggots join passenger pigeons and dodo birds on the list of things that we once though we had a lot of.

THE END