06/01/10

From The Drudge Report (sort of)

The Day He Went Too Far

While vacationing with some of his known associates in Chicago this week, POS barack obama decided to give a mighty speech and lay a wreath at a local veterans cemetery. As they say, "man proposes and God disposes..."  When he got up to give the speech yesterday, the skies opened in a legendary deluge such as Illinois has not seen in many years. Lightning flashes jolted the air as obama held a metal handled umbrella aloft in one hand and grasped a metal microphone with the other while the crowd, united by one hope, watched and waited...

The next morning, The Drudge Report top headline was:

obama tried to give his speech despite the rain and thunder. He explained to the crowd that it was not his fault, he inherited the weather from the Bush administration and he was doing his best right from the start to change it. Inaudible at times due to the booming thunder and crackling lightning, he seemed to be describing a Department of Justice investigation led by Eric Holder into criminal weather manipulation by Dick Cheney and Halliburton Corp.
 

Just when it seemed that he was about to sound off on his views of the dead American Veterans in the cemetery and their military service, his whiny voice was overridden on the sound system. A booming voice sounding much like Bill Cosby doing his "God" imitation, or God doing His Bill Cosby imitation called out:

BARACK OBAMA

yes?

YOU PISS ME OFF 

Seconds later, a near miss lightning strike on the podium resulted in the POS setting new Illinois state records for the 50 yard dash and the female hog calling contest as he ran squealing to the safety of his limousine.

Actual historic events may have been slightly altered for dramatic effect. "God" is a registered trademark of Yahweh, Inc., dba The Judeo-Christian Deity. George W. Bush, Richard B. Cheney and William H. "Bill" Cosby Jr. are actual people who have accomplished things in their lives. barack obama is a fictitious name. POS or "Pile Of Shit" is the Secret Service code name for barack obama.