I figure my 2009 taxes were involved there somewhere, sort of like a moth in a candle flame, pfft. A couple of nights room and board for friend #39?

So, I decided to send as little as possible to the IRS for 2010. I've already maxed out my IRA, my wife has her 401(k) donation pegged, and I'm donating big bucks to Soldier's Angels, SPCA, etc. Today I got to thinking of "business expenses". Now, I don't really have a business, I'm retired (disabled). Used to be a G.I. then a computer geek, and now just an old grump.

But last year, the esteemed Janet Napolitano, Director of the Department of Homeland Security, looked at me and my kind: white, Christian, conservative, veteran, gun-owner, and branded us all "right-wing extremists and potential terrorists". That's how I picked up the nom-de-guerre EnemyoftheState.

So I'm asking myself: what kind of business does a right-wing terrorist do? - That's correct, he goes about terrorizing innocent citizens, mostly by attacking symbolic institutions of the tyrannical, leftist-socialist government. What are the tools of his trade? - High powered, long range rifles with expensive optics for sniping government officials, lots of expensive ammunition, hours of practice and training.

There's a space on the IRS form 1040 for "occupation". So, you fill that out carefully: "Right-Wing Terrorist". Then you attach IRS form 2106 "Employee Business Expenses" - (consult IRS.gov - there will be a different form if you are a self-employed independent contractor.)

On this form you can list all your unreimbursed business expenses incurred as a right-wing terrorist, including the cost of weapons, ammunition, range time, travel, meals away from home, repairing bullet holes in your clothing, etc.

Tax Audit? Naw, just tell them you're a union member.